Monday, January 14, 2008

Top 10 Annoying Grocery Shoppers

Well, here's my first top 10 list. I was never expecting to make one, but last night Rob and I went grocery shopping, and there were SO MANY things to be annoyed at, I couldn't really focus on just one. Of course, there are really more than 10 things to be annoyed at in the grocery store, but I'll just list 10, and if you have more to add (or just want to throw in a "right on!"), please feel free to leave me a comment!

Top 10 - Annoying People You Meet at the Grocery Store

10. The Lazy Susan. I am seriously bothered by people too lazy to walk the extra 50 yards and put a shopping cart in the "cart corral." Seriously - you just spent an hour (or so) wandering aimlessly around the grocery store ... you couldn't take another 50 steps to keep your cart from hitting other people's cars?

9. The Rolling Road Block. Sadly, my parents fall into this category. Typically this is either an entire family or just one very talented individual who walks VERY slowly and somehow manages to take up the entire width of the aisle. This creates a serious backlog of shoppers - and just PRAY they don't stop moving, or a traffic jam will ensue that makes LA look like smooth sailing.

8. The Confused Person. This person either has a list and didn't put it in any logical order, or is just wandering randomly around the store. They will generally make several false starts, turn abruptly, stop suddenly and then glare at you if you bump them with your cart.

7. The Mario Andretti. This person is determined to set a world record in speed-shopping. That generally means they weave dangerously, take blind intersections without even slowing down, and huff and puff impatiently when stuck behind a rolling road block. Generally this is the kind of person who also drives like a maniac. Usually a woman in her 20s or 30s, she would push you out of the way to get the last artichoke on the shelf.

6. The Cheapskate. I will confess to being this person. Sometimes. This is the person who spends 15 minutes deciding which can of tuna is going to save them $0.05. She'll block an entire display while deciding, too. And meet her cousin:

5. The Nutritionist. This person will read the nutrition labels and/or ingredient list on each item she picks up before she puts it in her cart. Apparently this show of healthiness is important whether the item in question is a can of peas or a gallon of ice cream.

4. The Coupon Cutter/Price Watcher. Another friend of the cheapskate (and hopefully NOT the same person), this person will take her monthly grocery shopping to the register and insist on checking the price on every item as it goes across the scanner. "That should be $3.24, not $3.26" They generally will also have a fistful of coupons with them - at least one for every item in the cart, and will still be looking for more in their bottomless pit of a purse when the clerk (40 minutes later) comes up with the final total.

3. The Sampler/Muncher. This is the person who will pick up a box of cookies and a soda and eat the entire thing while shopping. Or worse, this person wanders through the produce aisles, treating the place like one giant free-for-all. A grape here, a banana there, etc. This person will also show up on days when the store is offering free samples and will possibly make the rounds twice.

2. The Line Cutter. This person was always first in line, no matter how many people were actually there ahead of them. Whether its the deli, bakery counter, or the checkout, this person will somehow weasel in ahead of you.

And the #1 WORST person to meet in the grocery store:

1. The Bad Parent. Now, I can't complain about all people who bring kids to the grocery store. I know sometimes its necessary and all that. However, I'm talking about people who think the grocery store is their child's personal funland. It usually starts in the parking lot. No hand-holding, just running ahead without watching for cars. Then, in the store, this child is not under control. They are running, pulling things off shelves, wandering off, making messes, screaming, picking things up, and generally being a hazard. And there's no age limit to this child, either. Last night I witnessed a parent allowing their 10-year-old children to wander around the liquor section. Picking up bottles, etc. Yikes! Wait until that child breaks a $100 bottle of wine. And cuts themself. The older kids in this group also generally have "wheelie" shoes. Um ... NOT in the grocery store. The kid loses control and there goes an entire display of glass jars. Please, people ... if you can't control your kid, DON'T subject the rest of us to him. Especially not at the grocery store.


Sooo ... there it is, my first Top 10 list. What do you think? Leave me a comment!!

8 comments:

Kathleen said...

I HATE THE MUNCHER!! Those people drive me nuts. Especially the ones that feed their kids that they can't control the bag of cookies, then have the cashier scan the empty bag. UGGH!

Alanna said...

I LOVE it! Know what pisses me off, is finding the empty packages that the munchers leave tucked into a shelf somewhere...never to be paid for. Cheap bastards!!!

CB said...

The whole list deserves a ::golf clap:: I am not a kid hater but seriously... CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN! Its just common courtesy to the rest of us that don't want to concern outselves with jr. deciding that the canned foods aisle shelves will be his claim to fame to climb. This aint Mount Everest ppl!!

April said...

This is hilarious! I hate the wheelie kids too. They drive me insane, I'm sure you could guess. I also hate the people who just block the aisle with their cart as if though they are actually looking at something when really they are just sitting there talking to their spouse about which thing to buy and it always seems to take 10 minutes at least. Just buy something and get out of my way!! LOL

Nikki57 said...

I can't stand wheelie shoes! I want to push those kids over and teach them a lesson for being annoying on wheels

Anonymous said...

The "munchers" don't bug me too much especially if they were diabetic and were having problems but the "The Coupon Cutter/Price Watcher."\
Drive me bonkers.
Nothing worse as a cashier then having a old woman ask if every item is on sale in a cart compltly full.
Even worse when she gets huffy about why the belt keeps moving.
I CANNOT STOP IT.
Its an automatic belt.

even more annoying are the people who see you do what they just asked yet ask you if you did it like three times in a row even when you say yes.
Jesus Christ.
Go to the self checkout

Hottywood Helps said...

I love this! Sometimes you kinda just want to tackle the coupon shopper like a line-backer. Geez...

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I will admit to being a 'Mario Andretti'. You've got me down to a T- female, 29 (no kids. I think that's a factor). I want to strangle people who take up an entire row...wtf are they thiniking??! And don't get me started on people with not only all 9 kids, but grandma, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc all rolling like, 5 abreast and just hangin' out! W. T. F? I'm a speed shopper because I need to get the hell out of there and away from those people ASAP.